So much has happened since I last updated this thing. Bad things, honestly. There were some good – there were a lot as well, actually but with this post I would like to focus on the sad bits first although I am very much recovering already.

I lost a friend to suicide last week. We weren’t particularly close, but we knew one another and she was a genuinely good person. It still feels so odd and wrong to write about it but it’s real and I have yet to fully come into terms with that. It was heartbreaking, sad, and wrong. Just plain wrong. No one deserves to feel so alone and lost to the point that all they could think of is to just end their life. No one. Absolutely no one.

The good thing that came out of it though – and yes, there was a good thing – everyone I know is reaching out much better now and it truly is beautiful to watch. During the two separate days I went to the wake, whenever anyone from our “community” saw one another we’d all just hug and cry and then later on, we’d leave the room for a while and just talk and oddly enough most times we ended up laughing. It may sound weird, but I actually got a real break during those days. Pain leads us into odd places sometimes, I suppose. Wherever you are Hal, I hope it’s somewhere beautiful. All of us often meetup during gigs and this instance was a standout in the most heartbreaking way. We’re not fine, but we will be. Especially because we know you’re definitely fine wherever you are. Sleep well.

Onto a slightly lighter note, I am getting by with my academics. Although I know I could do better, my prelimenary grades are actually good enough if you’d ask me. I just have to keep fighting and I will. Still, the pressure and anxiety haven’t been helping and the project still has me feeling hopeless sometimes. I’ve promised myself to stop stressing myself out way too much though because it hasn’t been good for my health.

Speaking of destressing, I finally got to see the boyfriend again after eons. It was definitely a day well spent and oh my god I absolutely cannot wait for our sem ender (will definitely post about it when it happens) because we deserve it after this hellish sem and all. #ParaSaFuture #RoadToPhDxJD

On one final note, I may or may not have found a solution to my existential crisis. Very recently I have been finding a need to join an advocacy and well guess what? I ended up starting one of my own. It is basically a collab with good old Kat. We’ll be manning a site composing of a series of open letters aiming to highlight all kinds of social issues and to reach out to everyone feeling hopeless. We won’t be just focusing on letters though. We have lots and lots in store so yes this is basically a plug now. Check us out at WhoeverisReadingPH.wordpress.com